Okay, okay - so I'm "adapting" another thing from Medical Jokes on Geocities... hope they don't mind, but this was way too good to pass up.
The Surgeon...
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more productive than a train
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on water
Talks with God
The Resident...
Leaps short buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than a switch engine
Is faster than a speeding BB gun
Walks on water if the sea is calm
Talks with God if special request is approved
The GP...
Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds
Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
Can fire a speeding bullet
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
Is occasionally addressed by God
The MO (Medical Officer)...
Barely clears a picket fence
Loses tug-of-war with a train
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
Swims well
Talks with animals
The Intern...
Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
Is run over by a train
Is not issued ammunition
Dog paddles
Talks to walls
The Med Student...
Runs into buildings
Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
Wets himself with a water pistol
Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
Mumbles to himself
THE SISTER...
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the track
Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
The Sister IS God
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