Friday, October 27, 2006

To chop or not to chop?

This is going to be a one-sided argument. Because I'm writing it. Do you have any idea the kind of gunk that can get underneath a foreskin? An unlopped, useless piece of disease-harbouring flesh? Shudder.

Maybe I have weird friends, but this topic has come up more than once. There's always three sides. Don't cut it off. Have your parents cut it off. Have it be your decision whether you keep it or toss it (yikes!)

Oh dear Lord, please don't start me on the pro-choice argument. Yes, we live in a world of free choice - but parents make medical decisions for their kids ALL THE TIME! Try immunisations on for size (yes - it's a choice, some people don't believe in the MMR shot).

And to even name the foreskin argument over the much heftier Abortion Gig? It's a whole different ballpark to the manky extra slinky inch.

Do you really, really believe that having a foreskin gives you extra sexual pleasure? Aren't men battling to make the dreamy 10 minute mark anyway? You want them to feel more!?

Ok, ok. So you're chopped. You're obviously looking at all these dangly foreskins in the locker room, feeling this intense, brooding jealousy. Foreskin Envy. Yummy.

Well, there's hope! Now you too, can grow it back - seek out the the "professionals" who have this uncanny knack of stretching it out again. No kidding.

Next post - The ForeSkin. Part II. Revenge of the Sif.


Partly inspired by some silly chops on Carte Blanche.
Visit their site for links to the stretchy people.


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10 comments:

Clive said...

Foreskin envy is a bunch of shit. what the hell do you want it for anyway? cut is better more hygenic.

Ann Y. said...

Hilarious article. I say OFF with the foreskin. I've assisted a few pediatricians in a few circ's and STILL had my sons circ'ed.

Anonymous said...

i think u should have called this post "an appeal for the peeling of the piel"...

just a thought...

Andy Hadfield said...

Is this whole situation morphing into a fashion statement? ye gods.

AJ said...

Personally, I wouldn't let anyone near my wedding tackle, unless absolutely necessary. Funny how booze increases the necessity?

But if it's really a germ hotel as proposed then why not cut the bugger off at birth.

Otherwise, lift it up and give your todger a scrub in the shower. But remember, more than two scrubs and you're playing with it.

Tudor said...

I kinda agree with AJ. It's called washing.

Anonymous said...

If you're worried about what's growing under a foreskin then you will probably want to keep away from between a woman's legs!

Anonymous said...

Agreed. I suppose if you're too inept to wash, though, better to cut it off. Might want to dispose of those pesky toes, too... harbingers of fungus and disease. Do you have any idea what can grow under toes? Yech! So glad my parents had mine all done at birth, otherwise I'd just have to get 'em done now!

JaredH said...

circumcision is quite uncivilised. it indicts a society as being unable to makes it's own choice - the choice to bathe that is. no western medical association recommends circumcision without medical indication. further, it is legally dubious and morally reprehensible.

besides, sex with a guy with a circumcised dick is about as exciting as having sex with a guy with the leg of a chair for a member. *yawns*

Anonymous said...

Are you serious? Cutting off the equivalent of 15 square inches of skin from the penis will have no effect at all on feeling?

Cleanliness: A quick rinse in the shower. If you don't have one, don't tell that mine is dirty.