All Scrubbed Up

From WrongDiagnosis.com . Har har!

The bloody brits... What will they chain-letter next :) ---snip--- D epartment of Health Minister for Health Victoria Quay Walsgrave Hospital Coventry COVENTRY, July 23, 2008 IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PHYSICIANS AND NURSES CONFIDENTIAL Subject : New contamination possible in most Towns Recent studies conducted on "aphthous fever" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted to humans. We foresee a possible contamination in most Health Board areas. Cases have been reported in Norwich, Stevenage, York, Birmingham, Barrow-in-Furness, and more recently in Leicester, Durham and Nottingham. It was observed that the subjects examined were regular consumers of wine and spirits. Most (97.6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without alcohol for 1 to 2 days on average. Extended periods without alcohol would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects woul...

Department of Health & Welfare Minister for Health P.O Box 69 Cape Town 8000 Cape Town, June 19, 2008 IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PHYSICIANS CONFIDENTIAL Subject : New contamination possible in most Provinces Recent studies conducted on "aphthous fever" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted to humans. We foresee a possible contamination in most provinces. Cases have been reported in Gauteng (31), Mpumalanga (24), Western Cape (1,145), Northern Cape (10), Kwazulu-Natal (23) and more recently in the Eastern Cape (15). It was observed that the subjects examined were regular consumers of wine and spirits. Most (97,6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without alcohol for 1 to 2 days on average. Extended periods without alcohol would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, indi...

Excellent MindBullet from MindBullets.net . They're weekly doses of futurism - health related in this instance... SA Doc's analysis . It could happen - give it a couple of years. In South Africa, we're in a little bit of a pickle though. No online consultations are allowed - HPCSA law dictates you have to "touch" a patient in order to provide a medical service.

The difference between a neurotic and a psychotic is that, while a psychotic thinks that 2 + 2 = 5, a neurotic knows the answer is 4, but it worries him. Thanks to Medical Jokes on Geocities .

Found these at The Doctor's Lounge . Not from real Doctor's. Obviously. Well. Maybe. *The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. *The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. *Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. *She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. *The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. *Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (Long fingers?) *Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. *A midsystolic ejaculation murmur heard over the mitral area. *The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. *Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. *She is numb from her toes down. *Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. *The p...

Founds this on Truemors.com A baby boy was born with a second penis — on his back. The rare condition is called fetus in fetu. He was rushed to Tianjin Children’s Hospital in China’s Henan province on May 27. The second penis has been surgically removed. What!?