UK. Aphthous Fever. Bah.

The bloody brits... What will they chain-letter next :)

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Department of Health
Minister for Health
Victoria Quay
Walsgrave Hospital
Coventry

COVENTRY, July 23, 2008

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PHYSICIANS AND NURSES

CONFIDENTIAL
Subject : New contamination possible in most Towns

Recent studies conducted on "aphthous fever" (for which we have just received conclusive results) indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted to humans. We foresee a possible contamination in most Health Board areas. Cases have been reported in Norwich, Stevenage, York, Birmingham, Barrow-in-Furness, and more recently in Leicester, Durham and Nottingham.

It was observed that the subjects examined were regular consumers of wine and spirits. Most (97.6%) of the subjects would encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without alcohol for 1 to 2 days on average.

Extended periods without alcohol would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, individuals would start to hallucinate and see coloured specks when staring at an object for extended periods.

If you encounter any such patients having these symptoms, please contact the Crisis Centre in Coventry immediately.

Our research to date has resulted in a cure, consumption of alcohol every day for 3 months!!!